Ask Coach | 3 Ways to Build Confidence & Get On Your Own Team

Maintaining a healthy mindset is our sacred part of our self care practice. So, this month, we asked Life Coach, Brooke Feldman of Lovely Day + Co., to answer your submitted questions and share her insights here. We hope it serves you well. Take Care!

Hi Brooke,

I find myself being my own worst enemy. Do you have any tips on how to build my confidence?


Frustrated Frenemy

Hey FF,

Kudos on your self awareness! Your self love journey begins here. 

Self betrayal leads to a lack of self trust, which leads to a lack of self confidence. So, beginning to show up for yourself will rebuild that trust and cultivate more confidence over time.

Here are a few ways to get started:

  1. Keep one promise to yourself everyday. 

Whether it’s a 10 minute morning meditation, making your bed first thing, journaling, or going to sleep on time, make a promise to yourself that you can keep. And then keep it. It’s normal to feel resistant at times; do it anyway. And if you do break it? Show yourself grace and keep it the next day. You are worth keeping this promise.

  1. Tame your inner critic. 

Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? Not likely. When your inner critic comes out to play, simply notice the narrative without judging it- and then politely correct them. The more you do this and replace the negative self talk with positive, the more you’ll build yourself up. 

For added fun, consider naming you inner critic. My inner dialogue often looks like this:

Beatrice (my inner critic): Don’t try that. You’re going to look so dumb.

Me:  Beatrice, I know you’re trying to protect me, but please be quiet. I don’t make choices out of fear.

  1. Celebrate your victories.

All too often we rush through life never taking a moment to recognize how far we’ve come. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for your wins, big and small. 

You put the laundry away? Go you! 

You took time to go for a walk? Yessss! 

You managed to get your kids to school on time? Fantastic!

This small act of gratitude for yourself will help you move from enemy to cheerleader.

Remember, transforming your mindset and learning to be kind to yourself will take time; grace and self compassion are your new best friends. 

I’m rooting for you!

With joy,



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